Friday, May 25, 2012

Forgiveness & Love

I have been doing a lot of work here lately on love. Then I began to realize that for me to be able to love fully, beyond what I have already learned, I had to forgive myself for not remembering who I belong too. My faith is very important to me. But I am finding out that I have not remembered just how important, how loved and adored I am by my creator. So, I have to forgive myself for forgetting the very thing I seek.In order for me to fully understand God's love for me and know Him in the way I seek, forgiveness is essential. There are many levels in which one can reach in learning to love. We can love ourselves, we can love others, we can love the world...then there is a deeper love. Loving God. I believe we were created to love Him, God. Not the way many do though, I dont think. I mean, yes, we show Him love by going to Church, by helping others and being a light for folks. But I just feel there is a deeper level of loving our creator. I can experience Him when I hear the birds sing, when I watch a flower grow, when I see with my minds eye, the very depths of His creation. That means seeing others the way He see's them too. Not superficially, but really taking the time to know someone, fully. To know where they have been,to know their thoughts and feelings. I dont know, maybe we can never fully know someone besides ourselves....but we Must try. In order to show Him our depth of love...we must somehow reach a level of intimacy with others that I think few are willing to try. NOt everyone feels so inclined to be known to another. And then just maybe, we do not have to know all the ends and outs of a persons life, but just be able to love them inspite of all the stories. To love them where they are at at any given moment. In fact, that is how Jesus loves isnt it?
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5 comments:

  1. Hi Kim,
    My name is Gord Howard, I am a freelance journalist working on a story for SZ Magazine (formerly Schizophrenia Digest), published by Magpie Publishing in Fort Erie, Ont. Canada. It is published across North America for people with schizophrenia, their families and caregivers. It can be found online at www.mentalwellnesstoday.com

    The subject of my article is roughly described by my editor as: "Stick with it (if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it) – Should you change medications if yours produce only mild side effects? Explore the risks of jumping from medication to medication."

    If you have experienced this, I was hoping you could respond to these questions for use in my article.

    1. Was it difficult for you to find the right med or meds that helped improve your life with schizophrenia? How many combinations did it take, and did you endure many difficult side effects?

    2. Was that the end of it, or did you eventually begin to experience new side effects that made you want to alter your meds? Did you go ahead and have them adjusted? Did it work, and if so were there many bumps along the way?

    3. What would you say to someone with schizophrenia who is experiencing side effects. Is it worthwhile to endure some bad effects if the meds are working otherwise, or would you recommend that person see their doctor to ask about changing their meds?

    Thanks, looking forward to your reply. Any help you can give would be really appreciated. I might send you a follow-up question or two if I need any clarification or elaboration on your answers.

    Sincerely,
    Gord Howard
    Fort Erie, Ont.
    ghoward8@cogeco.ca

    ReplyDelete

  2. Hi Gord! I would be happy to answer your questions.
    1. I was tried on numerous meds. So many, infact, I do not remember just how many. The side effects were at times really bad, parkanson like symptoms, shaking, drooling, feeling as if bigs were crawling all over me, severe weight gain, diabetees, etc.
    2. About eight years ago my doc and I decided to try yet another drug. So I began coming off Clozaril (terrible drug for me) and began Abilify. The Abilify caused bouts of crying and anxiety, I could not sleep on this new drug at all. So we added Buspar for the anxiety and Trazadone for sleep. This combination has worked for me for eight years now.
    3. I would give the meds my best shot....it took me a good four months to adjust to the Abilify and get really good results. But I think it depends on the person and if they are able to function or not whether or not one should decide to change meds.

    Hope this helps Gord. Let me know if I can do anything else.

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  3. Kim,

    Your blog is fantastic! I've just discovered it and am enjoying reading it. I am also on a journey of recovery from schizophrenia and have a blog on wordpress.com (Life in Little Words). I'd love for you to read some of it if you get a chance! I wish you all the best in your journey and I hope to read more of your posts soon!

    Larissa

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  4. Hi Larissa!!! So happy to hear about your recovery as well! I am glad you have enjoyed my blog....hopefully some of it is useful to you. I look forward to checking out your blog!

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  5. Please look at my side http://schizofreniamojegosyna.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete

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