Monday, April 30, 2012
I have been thinking a lot about my family. For the most part, since my recovery, my family has been very supportive. But it wasn't always like this. I am sure many of you have experienced being abandoned by those who you thought loved you. And the more I think about this, this is what I have concluded. Most of my family did not come around when I was very ill. But it wasnt because they did not love me, it was because they were fearful of something they knew nothing about. They no longer knew how to relate to me. It was up to me, and still is, to educate them. I had to be honest and up front about my experiences. To be perfectly honest, it is still hard for some of them to accept that I still have symptoms occasionally, they are still in denial at times. Then there are two of my family members who have nothing to do with me because I was honest about my past experiences, namely, the abuse I endured as a child. I had to conclude in my own mind that their reasons for not loving me has nothing to do with me as a person or their child. It has to do with their own insecurities, their own faults an their own selfishness. I forgave those who abandoned me and it no longer affects my life. I secretly dream of having all my family intact and supportive of me, but I realize this is just a dream and will never become a reality. Number one, because I would never allow someone in my life who I could not trust, a family member who did not love me unconditionally. We need to remember our boundaries, and when there are those who do not care, do not love, or are not supportive, then we must set up boundaries to protect ourselves. Families can be difficult, but for the most part, they are our main support system for a lot of people. I guess what I would like to say about that, is, we all have to make our peace with family. Even if we must not allow some of them in our lives. BUt in order to move on and be happy, we must learn to forgive them. Remember, forgiveness is for us, not the person who harmed us. We cannot move forward if we are unable to forgive. Till next time, be joyful!